You boys like Mexico!?

I've seen a play on Broadway in New York City. I've been in the Sears Tower in Chicago. I've seen the Smithsonian, in Washington, D.C. and the St. Louis Arch. I've been to Edinburgh Castle in Scotland and to Buckingham Palace in London. I've been to Miami, Honolulu, Dublin, Puerto Rico, Jamaica, and Venezuela. And now, after this 4th of July weekend, I can stick another pin on the map, this time in Monterrey, Mexico.

After spending 4 hours at the Mexican Consulate to obtain 2 temporary travel permits and a vehicle permit (all complete with official rubber stamps) and after filling all of our leftover milk cartons, ice cream buckets, and other spare containers with water and our backpacks with a few clothes, some sunscreen, and some toilet paper, my roommate and I donned our sombreros and set off to go south of the border (and I don't mean Taco Bell). Our first stop was the public library to pick up the "Let's Go: Mexico" guidebook and a Spanish-English dictionary and phrasebook. We quizzed each other on Spanish vocabulary and practiced our conjugation all the way to Nuevo Laredo where we zipped through the border patrol and found ourselves stopping at signs that said "Alto," checking our speed in kilometers (though we soon realized this was not really necessary), and trying not to look suspicious to the underpaid Mexican teenagers with large guns at the military checkpoints along the way. Undeterred, though, we pressed on toward our destination, now about 4 hours away. Thus began the adventures of Sergio y Fernando, Los Dos Amigos!

We arrived at Monterrey late in the afternoon, and headed straight downtown. This, we discovered, was no easy task. Little did we suspect that when our guidebook said that Mexicans "drive as safe as anybody," that they weren't referring to "anybody" in the generic, "most normal people" sense, but were apparently referring instead to a blind orangutan name "Anybody" with a penchant for drinking. Such was the free-for-all that Sergio deftly negotiated while Fernando expertly translated signs, navigated, and occasionally screamed loudly to warn of impending death by maniacal taxi driver. After eating some tradition Mexican McDonald's food, we set out to find a place to stay, and a few hours later we slept soundly in a small, un-air-conditioned, but clean and very cheap hotel with a friendly attendant and enclosed parking. We woke up on Sunday morning and set out on foot to see the city. Fernando started the day off right by purchasing a cowboy hat from a Mexican thrift store for 100 pesos (~$.90). Our next stop was the Museo de Historia (the Museum of History), which was the lamest museum ever. Besides one room full of random junk without even an explanatory plaque, the only other open exhibit contained about a dozen self portraits of a rather vain Mexican painter. I did manage to climb up onto the roof from a ladder in the bathroom, though, which was kind of fun. The Zona Rosa (Area of the Rose) was more interesting, and we amused ourselves for a few hours by wandering, shopping, people watching, and lounging in the park. The Fountain of Neptune was particularly pretty and it was fun to watch the vendors hawking their wares, the couples shamelessly displaying their affection, the teenagers kicking the fútbol in the grass, and the kids playing in the water. Leaving the park, we headed for the Barrio Antigua (the Old District), which is one of the few places in Monterrey that still has traditional Mexican architecture and which supposedly has a pretty hot nightlife during the tourist season. We were there in the middle of the day in the off-season, though, so there weren't many people there, but we ate at a good Mexican restaurant with a cheap taco buffet and tried the local cerveza (Cerveza Sol), which wasn't half bad, for a beer. As the day wore on, we headed back toward our hotel at a leisurely pace, taking time to walk through the open-air markets and the rich shopping district, to buy a homeless man a burger, and to watch some sort of Mexican talent show. We ate a late dinner of sandwiches at a local restaurant which we washed down with fresh papaya juice and topped off with some flan (which, as far as I could tell, was just red jello), after which we headed back to our hotel, took a cold shower, and went to sleep.

Monday morning, we decided we'd had enough of the city and wanted to get out and see the countryside. We finished up some shopping (baseball caps, a fútbol jersey, a colorful blanket, and a few more $1 cowboy hats) and then paid a visit to the tourism office, where a nice lady who spoke English recommended that we head to Bustamante. Waving goodbye to the Cerro de la Silla (Saddle Mountain) we fought our way out of the city and were soon driving along a long, straight, abandoned country road which would have been a perfect place to find out if my car can go exactly 98 miles per hour (with the air conditioner on). Apparently, a crazed truck driver also felt it would be a good place to check my car's offroading capabilities, since he decided to swerve into my lane and run me off the road as I tried to pass him. But fear not! Los dos amigos can not be so easily stopped. We took the opportunity to make a photo shoot in our cowboy hats in front of a Mexican ranch and then continued to Bustamante.

As we neared the town, we began to see signs for two different attractions: "el ojo de agua" and "las grutas." We didn't know what "las grutas" were, but the "eye of water" sounded like a fun place, so after stopping for a refresca (coke) in Bustamante, we drove out to what seemed like the Mexican equivalent to a state park, beautifully set in a valley amidst the Sierra Madres. We did a bit of painful hiking (the bushes are surprisingly territorial for a vegetable) and worked up a good sweat before jumping in the cool water of the springs (the "ojos de agua"). We splashed around for a long time and tossed the disc a bit, and then decided we'd go into town for some dinner and then return to the park to camp for the night (we'd brought a tent for this very reason). Returning to town, though, we discovered that none of the shops or restaurants were open. Upon a recommendation from a shop-keeper (where we had bought cokes earlier that day) we found a hotel/restaurant owned by a very kind old couple. They cooked dinner for us (we were the only ones there) and we discovered in a halting but more-or-less successful conversation with the owner that they had many more visitors during the cooler parts of the year, both Mexican and American. We also learned that "las grutas" meant "caves" and that there was one near the top of a nearby mountain, and that this mountain was also a neat place to go at night to look at the stars. We decided that this was too good to pass up, so we nixed the idea of camping and rented a very nice room for the night (still no AC) and set off up the mountain. It was a somewhat grueling hike, but we made it and were rewarded by a spectacular view of the heavens. We sang some patriotic songs (it was the 4th of July, after all) and God provided the fireworks as we watched the shooting stars and the lightning bugs and gazed at the Milky Way long into the night.

In the morning, we hiked right back up the mountain, this time with a Mexican family of 5 and a guide and explored the cave at the top. The cave was far from pristine and we grimaced as the Mexican children climbed all over the stalactites and other formations, but it was impressive nonetheless, and the most fun part was hanging out with the Mexican family and trying to communicate (which mostly consisted of exchanging nouns in English and Spanish with the kids).

As we hiked back down the mountain, our adventure was drawing to a close. We made one last stop in Bustamante for some ice cream and then headed back for the states. This time we were stopped by one of the aforementioned Mexican soldiers with large guns, and though we never did understand his questions, he seemed satisfied with our papers and let us go. The U.S. border patrol was less impressed, though, and made us take everything out of our car while a dog made sure we didn't have any drugs in our 4-foot Batman piñata. Once they were satisfied, we got back on I-35 north and said "¡Adios!" until the next episode of...

The Adventures of Sergio y Fernando, los Dos Amigos!

Click here to see pictures from the trip.